Transgender Relationships

Frankie and Wendy A happy TG/RG couple Rather than being the 'best of both worlds', I often feel that being a T*Girl is more like living in the third world. For many girls, their transvestism remains in the closet whilst they carry on with their day-to-day lives, their partners (male or female) never knowing about their femme side and on the face of it this often appears to work. The most difficult aspect of continuing on this road is that when the closet is opened and the partner finds out what's in it, they often feel decieved, cheated and lied to, which is pretty much reality! It's not necessarily the tranvestism that hurts them, it's the deceit. Of course some partners are fully aware of their partner's T*Girl instincts, some are prepared to live with it and others even encourage it, but these are rarities and those who are in such positions should be, and I'm sure are, grateful for what the freedom they enjoy. For those who dare venture out of the closet, and especially those that are single then the situation is not good. Of course we could hide our transvestism from potential partners, but if it's something you enjoy, then this will lead to discovery or resentment and frustration which will inevitably flow into your relationship. When you think about it, finding a partner that accepts you for who you are is like finding a needle in a haystack. I mean: Straight women aren't attracted to T*Girls because they aren't interested in a relationship with another woman, Straight men aren't attracted to T*Girls because they aren't interested a relationship with another man, Gay women aren't attracted to T*Girls because they aren't interested in a relationship with a man, and Gay men aren't attracted to T*Girls because they aren't interested a relationship with a woman. Now this is obviously a bit of a sweeping generalisation and I could cite a number of exceptions to the rule, but from my experience, in the main it largely holds true. And worse, if you happen to be a 'straight' T*Girl then half the (im)possibilities in my list don't even apply. You often find T*Girls that are only looking for relationships with other T*Girls, and I think the logic of the list above goes some way to explaining why. It's not that they aren't open to other possibilities, it's just that no-one understands and in particular accepts a T*Girl in the same way that another T*Girl does! Of course finding another person to share a relationship with is a lot more than just the logic of which shape fits which hole (so to speak). Not only must there be an attraction between the two parties, but they must share all the usual things that make relationships work, like common interests, a reasonable geographic proximity (or the ability and willingness to travel), the ability to show affection, and similar goals in life. To make matters more complicated, if two T*Girls are to share a fulfilling relationship, then the physical attraction may be between the 'girls', but the relationship is more than likely with the boy, so it has to work on more levels than either a normal straight or gay relationship. What about admirers: men who like to think themselves straight but who like girls with 'a little extra'? Sadly, from my experience most of these men are not exactly the pick of the crop (sorry guys but it's often true). It has been suggested that many admirers are incapable of attracting a genetic girl and think that trannies are easy prey, as we are so vain to succomb to their lame advances. I don't subscribe to that view! However, there must be some reason why many (not all) admirers are a little unsavoury though I have no idea what it is. I would love to be proved wrong and meet some attractive, intelligent, caring, warm, fun, trustworthy, reliable (shall I go on) admirer but so far, no joy. To some extent I suppose it depends on how important your transvestism is in your life. After all, would you tell someone on your first date, that you were a fan of Barry Manilow. Even if you were the head of the Barry Manilow fan-club, you might regard this information of little importance compared to your winning smile, fashion sense, charming wit and other redeeming features. Let them get to know you first before dropping this spanner into the works. Unless the other person could be expected to have an adverse reaction to your revelation the everything is OK. But sadly, admitting that you are transgendered is likely to have an adverse reaction in many cases and although it may not be what drives your life forward, it can most certainly knock any potential partner off the rails. So is it a completely hopeless situation? Where shall we go tonight? Both questions have similar answers, which is that 'it depends'! Don't let my views dissuade you from seeking happiness, I know many T*Girls, some married, some with boyfriends, some with other T*Girls, some closeted, some out, who live happy and fulfilling lives, so nothing is impossible!