Carry on Nurse (2 April 2004)

As you can see, my friend Becky decided that she'd come and offer solace, though I half suspect that she only came because I mentioned something about Doctors and Nurses.	Don't ask me where I got it from, but I had come down with a bit of a cold. Nothing too serious but it's always nice to receive some professional healthcare when you're not feeling 100%. Unfortunately the only person I knew who had even got an outfit that vaguely resembled the appropriate medical personnel was me. So I had to be my own nurse!
Becky (who knows about these things) had heard on the grapevine that there was a new cure for the common cold being developed in Pisa in Italy where the occurance of colds had been shown to be significantly less than elsewhere in the world. Apparently it is something to do with the fact that people in Pisa tend to lean slightly to one-side, their sense of vertical thrown by the famous leaning tower. Becky decided to illustrate how the cure worked. What's required is to find a way to rest in a position that is not quite vertical. Here she is on the left giving a demonstration.
So, I thought I'd give it a go. Supposedly, the next stage of treatment is to stay in that position whilst being spanked across the bottom with a large wooden spoon. At least I think that's what she was doing; I couldn't see clearly as she was behind me. Becky seemed to particularly enjoy that bit of the treatment though I can't really say whether it did anything for me. Now funnily enough, this rather obscure and little known cold remedy did actually seem to have an effect. The following day was Trans-MISSION and miraculously I didn't have anywhere near as bad a cold the following day. Now there's no guarantee that it is the off-vertical cold cure that did the trick, but then again there's nothing that says it didn't. All I can say for certain is this: If you have got a cold and feel a bit under the weather, dress up in a silly uniform, high heels, stockings and put on some make up. Even if it doesn't cure the cold, you will feel a whole lot better about yourself and have a lot of fun into the bargain!

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