Vague recollection (28 February 2004)

OK, so I have a slight confession to make. It had been one of those Saturdays where you never take 5 minutes to sit down and take a break - or to eat for that matter. BAD MOVE! I know it's one of the most basic rules for a night out but going out for a few (or more) drinks on an empty stomach is not the best idea since sliced bread. Having gotten ready and enjoyed a few small(ish) G&T's at home, my recollection of the rest of the evening is patchy to say the least. So I am having to reconstitute the story from the pictures I took, which is why it might make no sense whatsoever. One thing I do remember was that Bianca came over to my place before we went out. This photo doesn't really do her justice - in real life she is very slim (unfairly so I would say!).

At this point I can still fully recall events. As you can see, here I am with a G&T in hand, doing the usual trick of holding up the ceiling of my house. It's not that the ceiling needs holding up as such, it's just a great way to balance when you're wearing high heels, with a G&T in one hand and trying to smile for the camera. I think the chain shown was an additional stabilising factor to stop me falling backwards. I think it was anyway.

Now here is where it all gets a bit odd. What is obviously going on here is that Bianca and I are trying to lick a giant invisible worm that was threatening to engulf us with its many invisible tentacles (worms being well known to be frightened of being licked by two transvestites simultaneously). Alternatively, we may have been using the ancient wiccan art of 'tranny-tongue-ye-time' whereby one way to tell the time is to stick your tongue out and literally taste the time of day by reference to the level of tinsel in the air (remembering to take account of spurious anti-tinsel which can otherwise upset the reading).

Finally Mel arrived. Now our ultimate target for the evening was the ever fun Reflex (where it should be added that I do remember seeing Tina Cousins sing a couple of numbers there, in fact 'Mysterious Times' which is probably her best known hit was still ringing in my ears all through Sunday). I seem to remember that the point of this photo was to ensure that we didn't forget to put out the left-handed wax foil toothbrush for the distant milkman giblet the next morning, there being a shortage of newly-mown garage space on the Upper East Side around this time of the arm. Keep taking the pills Vicky!

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